Thursday, October 21

Indescribably Undomestic (elucidated)



Those two words, indescribably undomestic, came to me late one night in the same way all potentially brilliant thoughts come to me: through a haze of half-sleep, and threatening to run away like bad little kids at the WalMart store if I didn't write them down immediately.

So I wrote them down.

I figured they, at the very least, would give my husband a chuckle. My husband, who was brought up in a spotless, warm and inviting home. My husband, who was a natural marine when it came time to swab the bunks or flush the heads or whatever it is they called cleaning their rooms and toilets. My husband, who, poor thing, for five years has been begging me to GET IT TOGETHER ALREADY, DEAR when it comes to the house cleaning.

Cleaning the house is part and parcel of my stay-at-home mom gig. Now, don't you ultrafeminists (and you know who you are, dear) get all bra burn-y on me.... my husband does 60% (ok, FINE, 75%) of the cleaning around here. And he cooks 5 nights a week. And he mends his own ripped pants. And he darns his own socks. Or, at least, he'd darn them if he wasn't already damning them for having a hole in the first place- a hole that he totally blames on me because I refuse to buy a pair of socks of my own since his are so comfortable and they fit me just right and why would I bother to wear shoes when his socks are perfect and lovely and run-on sentences make me crazy so I have to stop.

So when my I'd-call-him-helpful-but-we-have-an-equal-marriage husband asks me to clean, I try, I really, honestly try to oblige.


Except.

I'm not good at it.


There are probably at least seven good reasons why I'm no good at cleaning. Number one is probably, "Because I don't like it, and ew, sink drains really bother me." But sitting firmly in the second slot is, "Because I don't know how."

That is no exaggeration and, sadly, no joke. Might I have have previously mentioned that my mother was is a lousy housekeeper? I love her almost more than anyone else on the planet, and she loves me too, so I am confident in saying it again: she is a lousy housekeeper.

Whether it be nature or nurture's fault, the fact still stands- I am full of the suck when it comes to cleaning up after myself and the Bees.
(I never have to clean up after my husband- note his aforementioned tidiness.)(Well, that's not entirely true. Every few days I have to wipe the bathroom counter because he's decided to be a little less scruffy that day and he finds it physically impossible to remove his shorn stubble from the sink.)(But I'm not complaining here.)



But I want to learn how, I want to want to do it. Most of all, I want to keep my husband around. I want to tell you gentle readers all about my dirty past and my new found Quest for Cleanliness!

So, a new chasing my Bees meme is born...



Indescribably Undomestic

a portrait of a messy mother
a sporadic series
a chance to feel better about yourownself







.

5 comments:

  1. I am your kindred spirit in slobbery...Slobby....undomestication????

    I look forward to reading this.

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  2. Ha. Yes, I know who I am. But I'm not worried about NOBODY walking all over you.

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  3. I dunno what you're talking about...You are one awesome blogger,btw!

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  4. Well, I am right there with you except my husband is about as messy as I am. I would say I am mediocre at it. But when I do clean....I do it well....I just hate it so bad that I wait until it is bad. When the kids were home....OK...I was better but now....I have become my mother.
    I enjoyed your writing. I met you at the Bloggy Boot Camp, though...can't really remember everyone I met...haha. Got your card. Anyway....check out my blog when you get a chance. I am following you.

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  5. I am your kindred spirit in slobbery...Slobby....undomestication????

    I look forward to reading this.

    ReplyDelete

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