Saturday, February 26

February 30, 2011

Two nights a week, I moonlight as a waitress at a local diner.  It pays for gas and groceries and diapers. After 5 years without me having any outside job at all, it has been a huge change for our family. It's my pretend job.
I'm Not Really a Waitress.
My signature color.
It's hard to be at the end of my twenties, when the vast majority of the girls I work with are just starting out in theirs, or haven't even gotten there yet.  I've never blogged about my (vapid, vacant) coworkers because, well, if you can't say anything nice.....

They are of a different generation than mine, even if the oldest ones are just seven years younger than I am. The older ones were in 5th grade on 9/11. They were in diapers when Kurt Cobain died. They've never carried a Zach Morris Special. Crap, they probably don't know who Zach Morris is.

Occasionally I like to play with them. I use big words and they give me blank stares. I try very hard not to be condescending, but sometimes it's just. too. easy.

There is a giant bulletin board at work where important notices are posted. A large, and largely ignored, sign proclaims, "NO CELL PHONES IN THE BUILDING." There are a few half-hearted motivational quotes. If a waitress needs to have someone else pick up a shift, she posts a note with the date and time, ususally accompanied by a "pretty pretty pleez!"

This past Tuesday, I wrote an anonymous note:

I need off Feb. 30
4pm-close please!!

I was nearly giddy with the possibilities. Maybe I am meaner than I thought.
Friday night, I walked in and checked the board. Sure enough, someone had signed up to cover for me.
And left a note asking what day of the week it was.

I pulled the one coworker closest to me in age and IQ over to the board and pointed. "You put that up there?" she asked. Well, duh. We laughed and then went about our business.
Later in the evening I heard some coworkers arguing over the note.

"Is this a leap year?" one wondered.
"It has to be," another pointed out, "there are only 30 days in February on a leap year."

Before it got too far gone, I wrote IT'S A JOKE on the note and waited for them to discover it. When the manager (a mostly-grouchy-sometimes-fun old lady) saw it, she asked who did it.

"It had to be Savannah. She's one of the smartest ones here."

One of?



  1. Oh my gosh. That is hilarious!!

  2. Sad, but so very funny!

    My sister is one of those "barely in her twenties", while I am well in to my thirthies... It's hard to be nice.

  3. Laying my head on my desk, tears pouring out of my eyes. OMG. I'm dying over here.

    Thank goodness we are sharing a room at Type-A. I have a feeling my stomach will hurt from laughing!


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