|ed note: |
Spidey is property of Marvel Comics,
and rad rad Stan Lee
"For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required." (Luke 12:48) This verse defines my responsibilities as the head of the household. I am the baby of my first family, but I am the only son. The caretaking responsibilities fall solely on my shoulders. I have been groomed for this my whole childhood and adult life. My mother and father made sure I was aware that someday I would 1) have a family, and 2) I would also be in charge of handling my parents in their older age.
I am scared to death of that 1). I am the “protective umbrella” of my family. I make the final decision (if you have a good wife like I do there is always compromise). I wouldn’t ever make a “hard” decision without my wife, but I am totally responsible for the decision. Because of my faith, I believe that I answer for everyone in my household, as long as they are in my household. Is it fair? Who’s to say for sure, but life is not fair.
I worry constantly that I am not a good enough example for my children. I pray for their future spouses. I worry that they are not exposed enough to the Bible and its teachings (you can never have too much). I pray that, even though we gave them back to God at birth, He will use us to raise them right. I hate to discipline my children. I do it out of love for them. We try to teach them about family, values, manners, etiquette, worldly things, Biblical things and all things from a-to-z. Being a parent is emotionally and physically tiresome, and is the most rewarding thing one could ever accomplish.
|photo by my incredibly talented wife|
I worry that I am not the best husband I can possibly be. The examples I have are at once awesome and impossible. My parents were married 36 years before my father passed away. Even with everyday problems and trials they toughed it out and loved each other the whole time. Also, I am commanded to love my wife the way Christ loves the church. (How could one possibly live up to that kind of standard?) Still want to call the shots? It's hard to want to be in charge when up against examples like that.
And finally we come to 2) taking care of my parents. Even though I am the youngest of three children, I am the only son. My parents were very traditionalist and raised me in that manner. They believe that the eldest son, if there is one, is responsible for the care of the family when the time comes. Well, the time has sort of come since my father passed away. I do not run my mom’s finances or tell her what to do or when to do it. What I do now is primarily up-keep. I change light bulbs, do landscaping, fix things I can, and make sure the things my father did are still done. When my mother gets to the age she cannot care for herself anymore, she will live with us or us with her.
I promised my dad and mom a long time ago that I would never place either of them in a nursing home. I will not do it. I know how hard it will be because I saw how hard it was on my dad when he took his mother into their house. He had to change so much around so it would accommodate her needs. He installed a chair lift for the stairs, installed a shower capable of fitting a wheelchair, and installed hand rails everywhere. So what I plan on taking on is not done lightly, but it’s done out of love. My parents took care of me when I was young and it was difficult at times. Someday I will take care of my mom when it is difficult. Still want to call the shots?
Everyone wants power and to make decisions, but few can handle the responsibilities that come with the power. I know there are exceptions to the rule, but as for what rules me this works. I don’t force this view on anyone or condemn them for different views. I will, however, do my best to pass this along to my children.
Jeremy B is a hard workin' man who thinks he has nothing to say, but his bride knows better. He enjoys spending time with his neurotic dog, his three darling children, and his outrageously gorgeous wife. He also forgot to write his own bio, so someone else had to.