Sunday, March 13

Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Ranking Pain

My frriend Fadra has this great little meme: Stream of Consciousness Sunday. Set a timer for 5 minutes, and write. Publish. Don't edit, don't even spellcheck. Let it flow. I've been meaning to do it for the last few weeks, and I kept forgetting. Of course, the weekend I remember, I am afflicted.



#SOCsunday
I can only see out of one eye, currently. Early early last Thursday morning I went to check on The crying Baby. I usually use my trusty BlackBerry as a flashlight, but in the 4:15 am haze, I forgot to grab it. When I opened the door to B3's room, she was standing there, wailing. At the exact moment I bent over to pick her up, she raised her hands to "holdju," and then.... Fingernail... Eyeball... Meet, not so very, cute.
 
After Jeremy went to work and the rest of the house woke (back)up, I realized it was more than a bump. I called my mother-in-law in desperation, and she took me to Our Family Doctor. He did some awful diagnostics and pronounced: Corneal Abrasion. Antibiotics. Check tomorrow.
 
I'll leave out the bit about writhing around in pain all night, and jump to the re-check Friday morn. More awful liquids in my eye and a weird blue light and: Still not healing. Go to eye doc.
 
God bless the eye doc. I'll also leave out the bit where he said I had torn eyeball skin holding on like a hangnail. And I'll leave out the bit where he did a little in-house surgery to remove the offending eyeball skin. I'll leave out the bit about the bandage lens and all because EW OMG EW GROSS YUCK EYEBALLS.
 
I will say this: God bless the eye doc. He's my new BFF. Him, Vigamox, and Tylenol #3.
 
 
I have spent the entire weekend in bed, in various stages of unrest. Sleeping fitfully, dozing almost-comfortably, wide awake in misery.
 
It sucks being down by one eyeball. As it is, this is the very first time since Thursday morning I've turned on my darling netbook, and still, I'm only half-hoping this will actually post, as I'm not sure if I'm actually blogging, or writing one very long appointment in my calendar.
Just now, Jeremy asked how I was doing.
"Giving myself a headache."
"Well, stop! I don't want to hear your whining later!"
Which, is kind of a moot point ("It's a moo point!" Oh, Joey Tribiani, I miss you), since he hears my whining on a regular basis anyway.
 
My husband has been a champ this weekend. He has done every bit of laundry, cooking, bathing, soothing, spanking, reading, entertaining, chauffering and nursing. Every. Single. Bit. Because he is remarkable, that's why.
 
 
But I've been thinking about this extraordinary pain in my left eyeball, and how slowly it is healing. I can only compare it to other pains I've had, physical ones, not psychological, because there is a 5 minute time limit here. And I can't compare it to real, awful, lifechanging and devestating pains, either. I've just been comparing it to what i've experienced. And here's how it goes:
 
 
Worst, Systemic, Shoot-Me-Now-Please Pain: Mastitis at not even 2 weeks postpartum, 2008
Longest, Wiggling-and-Drugs-Won't-Help Pain: Kidney Stones, at 6 months pregnant in 2004, and at 38 weeks pregnant, 2008 (2008 was not my finest year. Except, yay, The Baby was born!)
Sharpest, Shards-of-Glass-Shredding-Delicate-TissuePain: This.
 
It's excrutiating. No kidding, Shards. Of. Glass, this feels like.
But, every day is a little better than the previous one, and I get to amuse The Baby by making pirate noises. While wearing my eye patch.
 
It's an unbalanced mix of ARRGG and GAAAAAH. Just like the rest of my life.

7 comments:

  1. I've had all three of those. They all suck big time. Hope you feel better soon.

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  2. I wish I could have photographed my face while reading that/ You would get to see my "oooh, gross" face. I was never meant to be a medical professional. I will say, though, that I can imagine how awful this is. Because the actual physical pain aside, the worst part is when the pain is CONSTANT. Because you never get a break and you are always thinking about THAT pain.

    And I hope you have insurance. That Vigamox do take a bite, don't she?

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  3. OW.OW.OW.ICK.OW.OW.ICK.ICK.OW.

    um yeah. I'm so sorry for your pain... and your headache... and thanks so much for leaving "those" bits out, if you hadn't I might not have been able to finish reading... ;)

    and again - OW.

    I hope the pain recedes and the eye heals quickly!! ARGH MATEY.

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  4. I broke my arm as a child. I know it hurt, it must have. But I don't really remember that pain. But the pain of slicing a piece of my thumb off with an exacto? Pure torture.
    Why do the 'little' injuries always hurt so much?

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  5. Youch! That has to be horribly painful! I hope that today it is feeling much better.
    Kudos to your hubby for listening to the whining and all the other stuff ;)

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  6. EW OMG EW GROSS YUCK EYEBALLS.

    This is my favorite sentence ever.

    Also, have I ever told you about the time Will (age 2) shouted PIRATE! at a man wearing an eye patch in Red Lobster? He was not amused...

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  7. I wish I could have photographed my face while reading that/ You would get to see my "oooh, gross" face. I was never meant to be a medical professional. I will say, though, that I can imagine how awful this is. Because the actual physical pain aside, the worst part is when the pain is CONSTANT. Because you never get a break and you are always thinking about THAT pain.

    And I hope you have insurance. That Vigamox do take a bite, don't she?

    ReplyDelete

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