I can only see out of one eye, currently. Early early last Thursday morning I went to check on The crying Baby. I usually use my trusty BlackBerry as a flashlight, but in the 4:15 am haze, I forgot to grab it. When I opened the door to B3's room, she was standing there, wailing. At the exact moment I bent over to pick her up, she raised her hands to "holdju," and then.... Fingernail... Eyeball... Meet, not so very, cute.
After Jeremy went to work and the rest of the house woke (back)up, I realized it was more than a bump. I called my mother-in-law in desperation, and she took me to Our Family Doctor. He did some awful diagnostics and pronounced: Corneal Abrasion. Antibiotics. Check tomorrow.
I'll leave out the bit about writhing around in pain all night, and jump to the re-check Friday morn. More awful liquids in my eye and a weird blue light and: Still not healing. Go to eye doc.
God bless the eye doc. I'll also leave out the bit where he said I had torn eyeball skin holding on like a hangnail. And I'll leave out the bit where he did a little in-house surgery to remove the offending eyeball skin. I'll leave out the bit about the bandage lens and all because EW OMG EW GROSS YUCK EYEBALLS.
I will say this: God bless the eye doc. He's my new BFF. Him, Vigamox, and Tylenol #3.
I have spent the entire weekend in bed, in various stages of unrest. Sleeping fitfully, dozing almost-comfortably, wide awake in misery.
It sucks being down by one eyeball. As it is, this is the very first time since Thursday morning I've turned on my darling netbook, and still, I'm only half-hoping this will actually post, as I'm not sure if I'm actually blogging, or writing one very long appointment in my calendar.
Just now, Jeremy asked how I was doing.
"Giving myself a headache."
"Well, stop! I don't want to hear your whining later!"
Which, is kind of a moot point ("It's a moo point!" Oh, Joey Tribiani, I miss you), since he hears my whining on a regular basis anyway.
My husband has been a champ this weekend. He has done every bit of laundry, cooking, bathing, soothing, spanking, reading, entertaining, chauffering and nursing. Every. Single. Bit. Because he is remarkable, that's why.
But I've been thinking about this extraordinary pain in my left eyeball, and how slowly it is healing. I can only compare it to other pains I've had, physical ones, not psychological, because there is a 5 minute time limit here. And I can't compare it to real, awful, lifechanging and devestating pains, either. I've just been comparing it to what i've experienced. And here's how it goes:
Worst, Systemic, Shoot-Me-Now-Please Pain: Mastitis at not even 2 weeks postpartum, 2008
Longest, Wiggling-and-Drugs-Won't-Help Pain: Kidney Stones, at 6 months pregnant in 2004, and at 38 weeks pregnant, 2008 (2008 was not my finest year. Except, yay, The Baby was born!)
Sharpest, Shards-of-Glass-Shredding-Delicate-TissuePain: This.
It's excrutiating. No kidding, Shards. Of. Glass, this feels like.
But, every day is a little better than the previous one, and I get to amuse The Baby by making pirate noises. While wearing my eye patch.
It's an unbalanced mix of ARRGG and GAAAAAH. Just like the rest of my life.