Wednesday, April 13

Husband Hump Day: On Stay-At-Home Moms Staying At Home

*Somehow, I managed to sweet-talk my husband into guest posting for me. Fingers crossed, every first Wednesday of the month will feature a new post from JB. Stay tuned, because there is no telling with what he'll come up.
And yes, I do realize this isn't the first Wednesday of the month. I was just... forget it. I have no excuse.*




I am about to give you a totally biased opinion, with no actual facts or statistics to back up my writing, just some observations that I have experienced in my short 32 years of life. Any views or opinions presented in this bloggy thing are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the people who might care. My “findings” are expressly required not to make defamatory statements and not to infringe or authorize any infringement of copyright or any other legal thingies. Any such communication is contrary to popular belief (it just seemed to fit). I will not accept any liability (unless it is good) in respect of such blah, blah, blah, for any damages or other liability (especially if it is bad) arising. Amen.

Now that the business part is complete (my future lawyers made me do it), onto the goods.


I love the fact that we as a family seem to be the minority in today’s society. In that aspect, I have always been in the minority. My mother was a stay-at-home mom and ruled the house better than any Fortune 500 company CEO. She cooked, cleaned, taught, nurtured, loved, encouraged, disciplined, loved some more, scheduled, dropped off, picked up… well, you get the idea. While in “society” women were fighting the good fight for equality, she stayed home and raised God-fearing children. I remember her telling my dad how people treated her when she said she stayed at home. They were not nice and acted like she was some poor, barefoot pregnant woman who had no education and was holding back the “movement.” But to me, she was everything. I am an admitted momma’s boy. Her staying home was the only thing I ever knew.

Jeremy's parents, a.k.a. The Best In-Laws Ever

The first 10 years of my life were spent in Tulsa away from all extended family. My mom raised 3 children by herself with a husband who was a salesman and a US Naval reservist. I am sure he was gone some of the time but I remember I started to get excited around dinner time, because I knew he was coming home. Which when I think about it, it is a strong character builder for stay-at-home moms- they are never the recipient of the overwhelming anticipation of walking through the door to wild-eyed and excited children. They have to deal with them all day with hardly any thanks. Because of her sacrifice (which at times was great), and the support of her husband (my awesome dad) I think she molded my views and opinions of everything.

As the years (and many tears on her part) passed, I grew older. I dated all types of girls- those with views totally opposite of my mother’s and those that resembled hers. In college I dated some women who were very headstrong and determined to “go places”. Trust me, no man was going to keep them in the kitchen, which by the way, is not what all men want to do. I was all for them following their dreams and aspirations, it was just not the direction I was going. I am a family man who wanted a family woman.
When I met my future wife, she was a working single mother to a wonderful baby boy. We got “hitched” quite quickly (when you know, you know)! Before I met her, I was working my way through life (some people say “college,” but I would phrase it as “partying”). We sat down to discuss our new life. She got a job while I worked and watched the boy (hers was a night shift gig). I loved being able to spend time with him. When we got pregnant again I asked her if she wanted to keep working, or would she like to stay home and raise our children (see I am not a chauvinist). She liked the idea of staying home, and I sure did too! So as a new family with two children, eventually to be three, and only one income, things were tight. People asked me how we did it and I would say, “we just do it” (Sorry Nike, its catchy). I don’t like to work, not that I am lazy, I just look at a job as a means to live. My real passion is my family, all of them. What will I do when the kids are all grown? Why, spend time with my best friend, of course.
BFFs
With the internet and social media thingies (I am still clueless), Savannah is able to do what she is passionate about and earn some extra income. She also works a little outside the house; it gives her a break and gives me some good quality time just me and my babies. If the time ever comes that she makes more than I do (which would be awesome), then I have no problem staying home. But be warned, I run a tight ship!








Bio: Jeremy Butler is a working-because-I-have-to father of 3 totally different, brilliant children who like that their daddy would move heaven and earth for them, and that he is loud. He is an accomplished washer player (no really, he is), he grills, cooks, cleans, drinks beer (ok, he would like to anyways) and enjoys taking his BFF to someplace bluesy and rhymes with ‘emphis! He is forever indebted to his mother, a shining example of a real hardworking woman.

 
 
 
And he finally wrote his own bio.
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2 comments:

  1. Great post! My BFF gave me that same speech when our daughter was 13 months old. "I think we might be able to swing it if you want to stay home." I love him so much for giving me that choice I thought I'd never wanted (and honestly never thought about) but one we won't ever regret.

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  2. Awesome post-thingy from an amazing son-in-love!
    menga

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