Wednesday, October 26

The Importance of Being Nekkid

There is a difference between being naked and being nekkid. Naked simply means not wearing clothes. Nekkid is being naked and up to something

I think Mark Twain said that. Or maybe Margaret Thatcher. I get confused.

wearing my overalls, circa 1986

The Baby is NOT a fan of being clothed. I mean, she makes do in public- we have yet to experience a full disrobing outside the house. But when we're at home? 92% of the time, she's nekkid as a jay bird.

*side note* Jeremy and I have had a relationship-long dispute over this phrase: he thinks it's "naked as a blue jay" but I have always heard "naked as a jay bird." What say you, oh wise readers?

She and her siblings are so often in their birthday suits that my friend Audreya tweeted the other day:


Every single time Aud has visited us, one or more of my children have been nekkid. And, usually, it's The Baby. Okay, it's always The Baby.

Her naked booty normally doesn't bother me. In fact, this time of life is a blessing to my mother-heart. There is no sucking-in of the belly. There is no pushing out of the boobies. There is not a hint of self-consciousness in the way my babies carry themselves. Plus, really, we stay home most days and rarely have company that isn't kin (which may or may not be why I spend so much time on the twitters), so I'm pretty much okay with the naked. Saves on laundry work.


The only thing is, I have GOT to get this kid out of diapers. 


Potty training the first two was easy, or so I remember. With The Boy, I just told him to watch carefully and "do what Daddy does." With The Girl, I was anxious to get away from buying two sizes of diapers (since she was 2 when The Baby was born), and I don't remember much, except that she took to the potty (and the bribe-prize M&M's) quickly.

Both of the elder Bees were fully potty trained by their third birthdays. (Although, because I'm lazy I was always dealing with a middle-of-the-night baby, I kept diapers on both kids at night-time until their fourth birthdays. By then, they were old enough to either hold it all night or get up and go by themselves.)
The Baby will be three in 54 days. 


To be fair, she pee-pees in the potty 100% of the time... if she's nekkid. One hundred percent. But if she's wearing panties? She'll just pee right in 'em as if they're diapers.
Even though she totally knows they're not, and she totally looks at me with her demented little face and she totally laughs her maniacal laugh and then totally innocently asks for a bath, pretty pretty please. 

I thought maybe some new panties would work some new-panty magic. (Ladies, you know what I'm talkin' 'bout here, right? Sometimes, some new skivvies just makes you feel... better.) I bought her some Big Girl Undies last night instead of the thick cotton training ones.
This morning, she was ecstatic over new drawers. She shrieked with glee. She put on a pair and pranced, actually pranced, around the house.
And twenty minutes later, she'd tinkled all over them.

I just don't remember how to do this part.
How do I convince her not to wee-wee in her unmentionables?
She's too smart for bribery, she's too brazen for admonishment, and by this child -baby number three- we've learned that discipline is not a great tool for successful potty training.



So, help me out, you beautiful internet patrons, you.
What do I do now?








ps- we're not even going to mention the poop situation right now. just don't bring it up.       just. don't.


.

7 comments:

  1. I feel it's important to mention that I've never seen a fully-nekkid oldest Bee. He keeps his junk covered when you've got company. Mostly just with underpants, but that's something!

    And it's jay bird. Definitely. Why would a blue jay be naked? That doesn't even make sense. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm pretty sure Lewis Grizzard said that, about "nekkid."

    ReplyDelete
  3. origin of the phrase: Somewhat ironically, the actual bird, the blue jay, is covered with bright blue and white feathers, making it far from naked. However, all perching birds, jays included, are born with hardly any down at all, making them quite helpless - and somewhat naked.

    other comment: GO DESTRUCTOTOT!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ugh. I hated potty training.

    And yes. JAY. BIRD.

    ReplyDelete
  5. It is "Nekkid as a Jay Bird" !! And the potty training thing is very frustrating...my kids are six and nine and still wet the bed at night...and I've tried everything...doctor said " Eh, leave em alone" I wanted to scream " OK B####, you come do my laundry everyday!! LOL Good luck hun

    ReplyDelete
  6. Kelcie Huffstickler8:03 PM, October 27, 2011

    It's JAY BIRD. And while this does make me feel better by knowing we are not behind over at our house... I'm feeling the same way you were after Baby #2. I don't want two in diapers!!! But, sadly, Eden is just fine with it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jay bird. I love your destructo-tot and her attitude about her personal self. She'll get the potty-stuff when she decides. She's that way.

    ReplyDelete

Leave some love!