So. In ten days I'll be thirty years old.
I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. I should probably schedule a few therapy sessions, just to find out.
I'm a little wigged out, because thirty is like a real, grown up number. Like women who are thirty are actual real adults. They have nice hair-dos and they wear linen pants and they don't spill things on their white button-down shirts. I don't even OWN a white button-down shirt.
On the other hand, in the last few weeks I've realized a few things about myself.
I don't like the extra weight I'm carrying around from three pregnancies (the last of which was almost five years ago, ahem), but I love the way my body moves when I'm dancing with my babies in the living room.
I don't (and probably never will) like blow-drying and fixing my hair, but I love having grown it out this year, just because I wanted to.
I don't like waking up early, but I love savoring the stillness in a quiet morning.
I don't like being alone in new social situations, but I'm learning how to let my own small freak flag fly (ok, it's probably a very large freak flag, but I can flap a teeny corner of it). I am doing new things. I am trusting myself.
I'm learning to say goodbye to the first twenty years of my life, and saying hello to the next.
This weekend, I'm going to one of my favorite places on the planet, to spend time with some of my favorite ladies.
The Arkansas Women Bloggers Unplugged Conference is this weekend at Ferncliff Camp & Conference Center. It will be a full few days. I will be bunkin' up with a dear friend who I don't see often enough, and I'll meet a heap of other fabulous ladies, IRL, YKWIM?
I'm excited about what's in store. I want to get back to my writing roots (I'm sorry, sweet little blog, I've totally neglected you!).
I want to learn more about the community of women around me, and more about myself.